I'm called 'Clark' in your language. My location is shown as 'space' but I'm grounded in Essex, UK until I can fix the Planetary Excursion Module; its inertial stabilization cylinder ruptured under full load during emergency touchdown. It made one hell of a mess, which was amusing but rather alarming. I've fixed the damage but it would be foolhardy to launch without refilling it. It takes standard, optical-emission kryptogloop, which is a viscous liquid about the consistency of custard, but it's green and glows in the dark. I need at least twenty litres per occupant, but the more the merrier, eh? The PEM can lift a maximum of four humanoids to the Deep Space Vehicle so if you can find me enough 'gloop I can give you a lift to anywhere within about a thousand parsecs. The journey doesn't take long but don't plan on getting home any time soon; your Einstein bloke knew what he was talking about.
Getting messy has excited me for as long as I can remember. When I was about ten (at a guess) I thought up a scheme of making a slapstick film with my parents cine camera, with pies and mud, to persuade the girl from next door to get messy. I dug a mud pit as deep as I could, and made a 'foot bog' 'cos the girl said she wouldn't go in the mud pit. Unfortunately, the day of filming never arrived.
I put jam on my first girlfriend's breasts (and licked it off) the night I lost my virginity. She said 'you're clever!' I thought; 'well I'm kinky for sure; but what's so clever about playing with jam?'
I'm not embarrassed about my kink, but I'm discrete because (a) people love to gossip and (b) Earthlings tend to shoot aliens on sight, or so it seems from your films. There's a lot of angst about being into mess, but actually I've found that it's rather popular. I suspect that most people of all sexual orientations get excited about messing each other up, hence the popularity of slapstick. It's something to do with breaking rules, acting like a naughty kid, crossing boundaries, knowing what sensations someone must be feeling, and knowing that clothes will probably come off soon. It's also very sensual, of course. Not making a mess is a rule most people want to break occasionally.
I'm basically heterosexual but masculinity and messed up men don't dampen my ardour, and I've had two boyfriends over the years. I've got messy with several women in that time, most of whom were either enthusiastic or enjoyed it once they got started. One girl was positively delighted when I returned to bed with about two dozen raw eggs and asked if she wanted to crack them on me. 'Really? Can I?' she said. 'Go ahead' I replied. I'd barely finished laying down before she was grinning like the Devil's concubine, crushing them all over my chest and then, with obvious relish, smearing them down my abdomen and cracking more of them into my pubes. I pulled her down onto me and then we rolled around and fucked like wild things in the mess. That was when I was about twenty-one.
The pictures in my gallery were taken by two more women who got messy with me. One of them I offered to show a mud pit on a glorious summer's day when we were out walking in the woods; she took me by my hand and marched us both straight into it, then immediately started trying to trip and push me over; 'You can't have sex with me in the mud' she said; 'Who said anything about sex?' I replied. We didn't do it in the mud (well not that day), but we did after we'd got back to mine and had a bath together. That was the first sexual encounter of a years-long relationship.
So be bold; if you're having fun with someone there's a good chance they'll enjoy getting messy with you, but it probably helps if you're keen to get messy yourself and you're happy to get messed up first. Try having a camera with you; there are quite a few show-offs about, or you can lend it to the other party. Act the fool; pick up a handful of mud or a cream cake and make like you might throw it; you'll soon know if it'd go down well, and if not then stop; there's always another day.
Despite my alien / Superman jokes, Clark really is my name; my mum had a thing for Clark Gable in Gone With the Wind. Do message me, I'll be glad to hear from you, though I probably won't approve a friend request, er, unless we become friends (just seems sensible to me...).
I'm called 'Clark' in your language. My location is shown as 'space' but I'm grounded in Essex, UK until I can fix the Planetary Excursion Module; its inertial stabilization cylinder ruptured under full load during emergency touchdown. It made one hell of a mess, which was amusing but rather alarming. I've fixed the damage but it would be foolhardy to launch without refilling it. It takes standard, optical-emission kryptogloop, which is a viscous liquid about the consistency of custard, but it's green and glows in the dark. I need at least twenty litres per occupant, but the more the merrier, eh? The PEM can lift a maximum of four humanoids to the Deep Space Vehicle so if you can find me enough 'gloop I can give you a lift to anywhere within about a thousand parsecs. The journey doesn't take long but don't plan on getting home any time soon; your Einstein bloke knew what he was talking about.
Getting messy has excited me for as long as I can remember. When I was about ten (at a guess) I thought up a scheme of making a slapstick film with my parents cine camera, with pies and mud, to persuade the girl from next door to get messy. I dug a mud pit as deep as I could, and made a 'foot bog' 'cos the girl said she wouldn't go in the mud pit. Unfortunately, the day of filming never arrived.
I put jam on my first girlfriend's breasts (and licked it off) the night I lost my virginity.
She said 'you're clever!'
I thought; 'well I'm kinky for sure; but what's so clever about playing with jam?'
I'm not embarrassed about my kink, but I'm discrete because (a) people love to gossip and (b) Earthlings tend to shoot aliens on sight, or so it seems from your films. There's a lot of angst about being into mess, but actually I've found that it's rather popular. I suspect that most people of all sexual orientations get excited about messing each other up, hence the popularity of slapstick. It's something to do with breaking rules, acting like a naughty kid, crossing boundaries, knowing what sensations someone must be feeling, and knowing that clothes will probably come off soon. It's also very sensual, of course. Not making a mess is a rule most people want to break occasionally.
I'm basically heterosexual but masculinity and messed up men don't dampen my ardour, and I've had two boyfriends over the years. I've got messy with several women in that time, most of whom were either enthusiastic or enjoyed it once they got started. One girl was positively delighted when I returned to bed with about two dozen raw eggs and asked if she wanted to crack them on me.
'Really? Can I?' she said.
'Go ahead' I replied. I'd barely finished laying down before she was grinning like the Devil's concubine, crushing them all over my chest and then, with obvious relish, smearing them down my abdomen and cracking more of them into my pubes. I pulled her down onto me and then we rolled around and fucked like wild things in the mess. That was when I was about twenty-one.
The pictures in my gallery were taken by two more women who got messy with me. One of them I offered to show a mud pit on a glorious summer's day when we were out walking in the woods; she took me by my hand and marched us both straight into it, then immediately started trying to trip and push me over;
'You can't have sex with me in the mud' she said;
'Who said anything about sex?' I replied. We didn't do it in the mud (well not that day), but we did after we'd got back to mine and had a bath together. That was the first sexual encounter of a years-long relationship.
So be bold; if you're having fun with someone there's a good chance they'll enjoy getting messy with you, but it probably helps if you're keen to get messy yourself and you're happy to get messed up first. Try having a camera with you; there are quite a few show-offs about, or you can lend it to the other party. Act the fool; pick up a handful of mud or a cream cake and make like you might throw it; you'll soon know if it'd go down well, and if not then stop; there's always another day.
Despite my alien / Superman jokes, Clark really is my name; my mum had a thing for Clark Gable in Gone With the Wind. Do message me, I'll be glad to hear from you, though I probably won't approve a friend request, er, unless we become friends (just seems sensible to me...).
Best wishes,
Clark