Crusted pies are the best, no swiping of the eyes allowed. The pie is in charge so what if it takes hours before you can open your eyes Another pie needs to go on that hairy chest.
No shipping your eyes letting the pie slide down your face as the giver watches, the pie will decide when you can open your eyes and see giving time for the giver to prepare for the next pie to go in your face
I've filled his speedo/briefs with Twinkies and Hoho's and then puts on spandex to hold in the mess and then get dressed for dinner with him wearing the mess