From the moment I discovered his Twitter account I've longed for the opportunity to experience his brilliant pie contraptions. Fruitkitty is, simply put, a pie genius. I had fantasized of standing in front of his catapult. My New Year's resolution was to just live a little and have more fun. What I had considered a dream was really just a question that needed asking. Don't be a dreamer. Just ask.

On a warm January day in Dallas I left my hotel in jeans and a long sleeved shirt wearing a backpack full of clothing options. I traveled down the strip on foot enjoying the sights. My Sir Rat jock under my jeans was a gentle reminder of the fun as I walked the lively neighborhood. Stopping at Kroger along the way, I loaded my shopping car with quarts of heavy cream and pie fillings. The inquisitive looks from other shoppers added to the fun of the experience.

I continued on my journey with my "groceries" in tow. As I reached my destination the excitement really set in. We worked together to prepare the twelve cream pies of the perfect consistency. After sharing pizza it was time to get ready for the experience. I had brought as many outfit options as could fit in my backpack. I didn't know what to wear singlet? Kinky singlet? Jock only? Ruin my street clothes I came in? Etc. I ended up decided to keep it simple and let the pies be the star. I dressed in a black Nike pro combat l/s shirt with black Adidas soccer shorts. I kept the jock on the way it feels could only enhance the sublime experience. I walked to the bathroom where the grand catapult awaited me. It's size is difficult to comprehend until you experience it in person. I took my place in the shower stall, and I donned my goggles. The next twenty minutes were all I had dreamed and more. The force of the catapult makes for an invigorating pie experience. The weight of the real whipped cream pies is impeccable. The splatter, the chill of the cream of it drenched my body, the sounds, the fragrance of dairy. All of it came together to create the perfect experience.

Thank you to Fruitkitty for allowing me to visit. You were a wonderful host, and I'm most definitely looking forward to coming back for an overhead pie tube experience.