Tis the season for giving, and I'm ready to unwrap my wanton, yogurt-filled present and fuck myself silly.

After some lite foreplay of opening up a fresh yogurt carton and ruining that untouched freshness with my tongue, I lose everything but my black thigh-highs, reindeer antlers and jingly collar; then wrap a thin red ribbon around my tits which leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. Pigtailed, clean and crisp, it's time to get dirty.

After failing to get to more famous numbers of The Nutcracker such as "Dance of the Sugar Plum Whore" the first time, I go in determined to make a mess of the second half of the ballet, but with my ears clogged from the Christmas spirit of part one, I fail to realize how loud the music is. Let's just call it excitedly festive.

Set out before me are two fresh cartons of yog(save the tongue-prints), strawberry sauce, and a bowl of chopped greens. That's right, I frost myself like a gingerfuck house, douse myself with strawberry sauce and stick myself with greenery like a Christmas wreath.

I take my time massaging and kneading all that liquid lust before procuring my feedloe (a recurring character) and streak more yogurt all over it before infusing all that creamy goodness deep in my cunt. I'd promised I'd be gentle with myself this time, but my body begged otherwise. After enjoying the sensations of the yogurt and textured leaves over soft, succulent flesh, I lube my toy up with yogurt and a coating of cunt-cream and work it up my ass until all the yogurt oozes out of my rectum and down the sleek, black shaft.

Somewhere up the dark, pungent recesses of my ass, there's a spot connected to the back of my clit as it wraps around my vagina. Hitting that invisible button is like the Titanic hitting that massive iceberg of pure, blinding intensity. The little pearl-like nub resting over my cunt is just the tip of the clitoral organ. The rest that's submerged underneath is what wrecks me as my slick body writhes over the shaft and I sink further into the ocean of getting totally fucked. Add to that smooth luxurious yogurt and plenty of roughage, it doesn't take long to cum as I split myself in two. But I'm not sated yet.

After a short intermission where I retrieve a giant bottle of BBQ sauce and a small glass tentacle, I return to finish what I started. I glaze myself with thick BBQ (almost choking on the overpowering flavors), drool it out, smear it around, and begin furiously fucking my drenched cunt--my bush a sticky, savory mess. My orgasm made everything hypersensitive, so when I lube up my dirty feeldoe again (but with syrupy BBQ this time), I don't last long before cumming from my sloppy seconds like the exhibitionist wam-whore I am. The whorebell on my collar got completely gunked and barely rings out my pleasure as I squelch over the edge.

Sated, antlers flung off from cumming hard and fast, I roll around in the mess and squeeze it out of my plastered pigtails, ready to be licked clean.