I'm a mid-forties British guy with a passion for custard pie slapstick.

For me, nothing beats a thick gloopy custard pie smashing full-on into my face and the faces of other lads, with custard and cream flying everywhere. Couple this fully clothed wearing either tuxedo, suit or smart uniform and the scene is completed to slapstick perfection.

There is nothing like the feeling of wearing an immaculate freshly pressed tuxedo or suit, and knowing that soon both my face and outfit will be ruined by a heavy thick pie being thrown in my face. For me, it is the anticipation of what will happen, coupled with the feeling of humiliation, together with the thick custard and cream filling smearing my face. The heavy pie crust sliding off completes the scene with aplomb! The mix of comedy, humiliation and mess are the ultimate thrill, and I love to both give and receive the pies like the trooper that I am.

If any of this floats your boat, give me a shout - always happy to chat!