I'm a mid-forties British guy with a passion for messy slapstick.

For me, nothing beats a thick gloopy pie smashing full-on into my face and the faces of other lads, with custard and cream flying everywhere. Couple this fully clothed wearing either tuxedo, suit or uniform and the scene is completed to slapstick perfection.

There is nothing like the feeling of knowing that soon both my face and outfit will be ruined by a heavy thick pie being thrown in my face. The mix of comedy, humiliation and gloopy mess are the ultimate thrill and I love to both give and receive the pies like the trooper that I am.

If any of this floats your boat, give me a shout - always happy to chat!