I am a gay transvestite whose biggest fetish is arguably being plastered with real creme pies. Been hit in the face with over 2,000 of them. Probably underestimating that number quite a bit. Huge buttercreme cakes and if there was a thick mud pit I knew of, I'd consider that too.

I went to a bakery nearby me and they have the best huge pies. They are pricey but well worth it. Have gone there on many occasions the past couple of years.

A new bakery opened nearby that makes very large buttercreme cakes, I will sample one sometime soon.