I am a gay transvestite whose biggest wam fetish is being plastered with real creme pies. Been hit in the face with several thousand of them over the past 30 years. Huge buttercreme cakes and if there was a thick mud pit I knew of, I'd would venture into that too.

I went to a bakery nearby me and they have the best huge pies. They are pricey but well worth it. Have gone there on many, many occasions the past five or so years.