Every day this season I'm betting on baseball and putting my dignity on the line. Every day I lose more bets than I win means a pie thrown in my face and a square of my choice from the Pick Your Punishment Board, which contains messes like a pie spanking, a bucket of slime, maple syrup, and naked pie barrage, to count a few.

Week 1 of Messy Sports Betting did not go well. Three down days means three pies and three squares. The board was very unkind this week.