Moist.
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since 4/6/24
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Take one clean clown. Apply thickly mixed gloopy fresh dough mix. Pour over head. Squirt stinky Heinz salad cream over the top. Result, one plastered, humiliated and vinegary stinky clown. My favourite look. What do you think?
3
Photo: The ultimate humiliation 6/17/24report
Large bowl of thick dough and stinky salad cream. My favourite look. Totally unrecognisable and humiliated.
1
Photo6/17/24report
About time. I didn't stay clean for long ;)
1
Photo: How I punish a cheat 6/17/24report
And made to hold cucumber up to my eyes, topped with a lettuce hair do
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Photo: Five layers. How I love to look6/16/24report
It was. So much mess and enjoyed doing the giving for a change. Far too much
2
Scene: Patsy in "Peter Kops It at the Bakery"6/16/24report
Of course ;)
1
Photo: Would you pie this pretty face 😉6/16/24report
The most mess I've used so far. He was absolutely covered and stank. I had to stand back at the end and admire my creation.
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Photo: Shall I give him stinky salad cream?6/16/24report
Look at the enjoyment on my face
2
Photo6/16/24report
He got absolutely plastered. As you will see by my reactions in the video I loved getting payback
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Photo: Shall I give him stinky salad cream?6/16/24report
All natural x
2
Photo: Just me6/16/24report
Should be on store today!
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Photo6/16/24report
That's five bottles of salad cream
2
Photo6/16/24report
We are ALL odd. I'm dressed as a police officer, holding a bottle of Branston Pickle!
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Photo: Branston Pickle officer?6/16/24report
Beautiful coverage
Photo6/14/24report
I've had a splash added before. I like the pies to be stodgy to ensure my face gets plastered properly. The choice from the fans can be added on top.
2
Photo: Salad Cream or Brown Sauce?6/14/24report
What should I be plastered with?
Salad Cream topped with egg mayo?
Brown Sauce topped with branston pickle?
Ketchup topped with something?

Hit love and comment on what you think I should have my face covered with.
3
Photo: Salad Cream or Brown Sauce?6/14/24report
More in the next few days. That face will be covered in salad cream and topped off with a large mound of egg mayo sandwich filler
1
Photo: More of this coming this weekend x6/14/24report
Thank you for the purchase
1
User: sillybilly6/14/24report
Me, oi over here!
Photo6/13/24report
Only a couple of days to my next shoot. More dough, more salad cream. Heaps of egg mayonnaise. I may even decide to take the whole lot on the day. 10 bottles of salad cream, four bags of flour for making dough, four bottles of ketchup, four bottles of brown sauce, three bottles of Branston pickle and three tubs of egg mayo. Imagine my head after that barrage. Click Love and comment, if you'd like to see that masterpiece
1
Photo: Two days to go6/12/24report
My partner in slime, Peter Pastry agreed to take every savoury item that I've received to date on film.
Dough
Pastry cases
Salad cream
Ketchup
Brown sauce
Branston Pickle
1
Photo: His whole head is getting this6/11/24report
As a final humiliation, my clean police hat will he carefully placed on top of my head. What a smelly, humiliated, yellow, faceless blob I will look. All recorded for your pleasure.
Photo: My face is getting this6/11/24report
Me dressed as PC Pastry is going to get my face plastered with many layers of dough pies and then gunged with stinky salad cream. Topped off with three large tubs of egg mayo. A new stinky orange eggy hair do.
Photo: My face is getting this6/11/24report
All for use on one video
Photo6/11/24report
For use in my next video. My face is ready and waiting
2
Photo6/11/24report
3 days to go. Last savoury gunging before I return to sweet. 4 bags of flour to go in crust pies. 5 large bottles of Heinz Salad Cream. Only one target this time. My pretty clown face. Not anywhere else or my head. Just plastering and stinking up my face beyond all recognition. Three large tubs of stinky egg mayonnaise sandwich filler will be bought nearer Friday. All to be piled up on top of my head and my PC hat to be balanced on top. Can't wait to be plastered. Hit love and comment on how excited you are to see me stinked up and plastered one more time.
3
Photo: 3 days to go6/11/24report
I love the dough pies. They make a right mess of my face
1
Photo: I want it 🤡6/10/24report
New videos this weekend. Firstly I'm dressed as PC Pastry and "kop" loads of dough pies, then gunged with salad cream and get given a new egg mayonnaise hairstyle. Then PC Peter Pastry tries to rescue me. He gets dough pies, more dough, salad cream, ketchup, brown sauce and a Branston Pickle head covering. Available as two separate videos and a joint video. Hit love and comment.
1
Photo: PC Pastry in a new video this weekend 6/10/24report
Convict will deliver the pies
1
Photo: Escaped convict 6/10/24report
More salad cream layers, none of my face visible this time. Going to be the last time using salad cream, so it needs to be complete yellow, stinky humiliation. Topped off with a brand new egg mayo complete head covering. How silly, how smelly, how trashed, how humiliating, but most importantly, how brilliant will I look? Tell me by hitting love and commenting.
1
Photo: Coming Friday more of this6/10/24report
Coming this Friday. Me dressed as a police woman. 5 heaped dough crust pies to my pretty clown face. Followed by 5 large bottles of Heinz Salad Cream over my head so I get a complete face full of it. Topped off with three large cartons of egg mayonnaise sandwich filler, as a new hair style. All recorded for your viewing pleasure. Hit love if you can't wait to see the created canvas.
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Photo: Coming Friday 6/9/24report
Look at the mess those dough pies make
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Photo: I love taking pies 6/8/24report
Coming soon, PC Pastry gets into trouble at the Heinz factory. More stinky salad cream. Larger bottles, Heinz variety, so smelliest, topped off with an egg mayonnaise sandwich filler hairdo. Who can't wait to see me like this again, except more coverage?
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Photo: Coming soon. PC Pastry6/7/24report
I hope so. I'll look and smell so silly
1
Photo: Let those stinky Brown chunks slide6/6/24report
That will be egg mayonnaise filler next time with Heinz Salad Cream
1
Photo: Let those stinky Brown chunks slide6/6/24report
Being plastered in such a stinky way is the only way x
2
Photo: One nasty outcome6/6/24report
Thanks. Finally got the hair covering right. Already have a new stinky replacement ready for next time
2
Photo: One nasty outcome6/5/24report
Plain flour mixed with a little water. That's one pie plastering my face. Great hit as well
1
Photo: How to plaster a clown 🤡 6/5/24report
I did stink, but how good do I look?
1
Photo: Four bottles of Salad Cream 6/5/24report
I think we've found the right consistency for the dough. I prefer it to whipped cream. Sticks like glue and no after smell like sour cream
1
Photo: How to plaster a clown 🤡 6/5/24report
Take one sexy female clown, pie her with dough encrusted pies. Add four bottles of stinky salad cream and top off with a Branston Pickle hair do.

This is the end result when it happened to me. Hit love and tell me what you think.
2
Photo: One nasty outcome6/5/24report
I adored the look and smell. Next time it has to be all my face and neck, topped of with egg mayo filler hairdo
Photo: Total Salad Cream coverage. I Stank!6/5/24report
A stinky covered masterpiece
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Photo: I came I saw got plastered 6/5/24report
I was excited to snell the stench as it slowly slid down my face x
1
Photo: Pour it on 6/5/24report
Thanks for buying my video x
User: PiePiskie6/5/24report
It really stank. He missed a bit. You know me, I have to get a total face full of everything. Next time I will get Heinz. More expensive, but also more pungent and I will tilt my head for maximum coverage
1
Photo: Four bottles of Salad Cream 6/5/24report
They were made to be more sloppy. next time may experiment mixing the flour next time with salad cream for extra stench
Photo: Dough crust with salad cream6/5/24report
I stank. Dependent on sales want to try large Heinz Salad Cream next time and tilt my head so I get a proper face full. Heinz has a stronger smell, which is what I crave.
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Photo: I came I saw got plastered 6/5/24report
How I love to look and smell
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Photo: Total Salad Cream coverage. I Stank!6/4/24report
New profile photo. Me under layers of dough and salad cream, topped off with Branston Pickle
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Photo: I came I saw got plastered 6/4/24report
I just love wearing salad cream. Needs an egg mayonnaise hair do next time. That would stink even more. Lovely
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Photo: Total Salad Cream coverage. I Stank!6/4/24report
My face loved them
1
Photo: Dough crust with salad cream6/4/24report
Stank bad. Even worse when Branston Pickle was piled up on my head and slide down my face. I loved it!
1
Photo: Total Salad Cream coverage. I Stank!6/4/24report
Disappointed I didn't get the entire head covered as I'd hoped for, but good coverage all the same. Took 5 washes to get rid of the smell. I'm weirdly attracted to the smell and look of Salad Cream
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Photo: Total Salad Cream coverage. I Stank!6/4/24report
Bet you smelt salad cream
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Photo: Total Salad Cream coverage. I Stank!6/4/24report
That's nothing. The Salad Cream covering was a complete yellow film
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Photo: I still took more!6/4/24report
Always wanted a brown hair style
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Photo: Now that is one stinky hair do!6/4/24report
I got a new hair do today. Courtesy of Branston Pickle. Don't I look good?
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Photo: Now that is one stinky hair do!6/4/24report
I stank, even after five washes. It stank and I loved it
2
Photo: New pickle hair do6/4/24report
That was layer three. I was a stinking, brown, lumping mess by this point
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Photo: New Branston Pickle hair do6/4/24report
It was like that for my head to. I stank of salad cream and loved it
2
Photo: New Salad Cream shirt6/4/24report
And very smelly. Loved it. Do I look good and smelly lumpy brown?
2
Photo: New pickle hair do6/4/24report
My whole upper body turned stinky yellow
2
Photo: New Salad Cream shirt6/4/24report
No, I just let it slowly run down my head this time
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Photo: New Branston Pickle hair do6/4/24report
Sure did later on
Photo: You've destroyed my uniform 6/4/24report
The next time you see this head it will be totally covered in two layers. First dough, then stinky salad cream, topped off with a Branston Pickle hair do. Mr Pastry has my strict instructions as to how I'm to be turned into a thickly layered, stinking mess. Hope you are as excited as me to see the video. Photos posted tomorrow x
Photo: New video coming tomorrow 6/3/24report
Coming soon. I'm going to be dressed as an Air Hostess, caught serving slop to customers. This will be my most extreme video to date, involving dough crusted pies, salad cream and Branston pickle. What do you guys think?
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Photo: Patsy is a trolley dolly 6/2/24report
The ultimate messy clown will move up to the next level. No clean neck and include shoulders and head for complete coverage. Will add a messy hair covering, fill shoes, knickers and tights. Watch this space!
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Photo: How I love to look 6/2/24report
Hope you enjoy me as a Salad Cream statue. Next time it will be a layer of total head and shoulder plastering of dough. Two peep holes only as eyes. Then the same covering of stinky salad cream. Topped off with a Branston Pickle hair covering and finally my hat put on top. Who can't wait to see the outcome? I can't, just a shame there will be no smell a vision, because I will stink!
1
Video: How to Show off a Stinky Salad Cream Statue.6/2/24report
After a total head and shoulder Salad Cream gunging. Add egg mayonnaise, to give me a new hairdo. What do you guys think?
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Photo: Egg Mayonnaise for a new hairdo6/1/24report
Next video will be a total head and shoulder dough gunging
1
Photo: Anyone got a light?5/25/24report
Just add ketchup, baked beans, tinned tomatoes and brown sauce
Photo: Fried Egg5/25/24report
Yes. I loved the coverage. Going to use flour paste as a pie filling for all videos now. Next time PC Pastry will be plastered with at least 10
1
Photo5/24/24report
Not enough. I need the neck and shoulders covered next time. Complimented with a complete new Branston Pickle hairdo. The thought is very exciting
Photo: How do I look?5/24/24report
In my next video, I will be dressed as PC Pastry. Now I know what to expect, I want to use more dough, brown sauce, salad cream, ketchup and a more intense branston pickle hairdo. Let me have your ideas as to how to turn my pretty clown face into an unrecognisable mess. Whole head and shoulders. Over to you....
1
Photo: How should I be covered next? 5/24/24report
Next time it will be a full head and shoulder covering of brown sauce followed by enough bottles of pickle to give the full hair affect
Photo: 6. Treatment complete5/24/24report
I need to complete the whole gunging by holding something up as eyes. The eggs fell apart. Determined to look like that though
1
Photo: Brown Sauce 5/21/24report
It would have to be squirted on. Next time I will make sure that my
shoulders, neck and hair are covered before I get a face full
1
Photo: Salad Cream 5/21/24report
Officer Pastry. Give me those stolen pies every last one!
1
Photo5/21/24report
Loved this. No after smell like with whipped cream. Total facial coverage. Maybe a complete total upper body gunging with it. Just two peep holes where eyes once were
1
Photo: Dough (cake batter)5/21/24report
Hated brown sauce! So I know what to expect next time. It needs to be a complete head and shoulder gunging. Something in my mouth and up my nose. A full Pickle hair do. Made to hold up boiled egg slices as eyes. What do you guys think?
1
Photo: Brown Sauce 5/21/24report
Loved ketchup Next time I need to make sure the neck gets it!
2
Photo: Tomato Ketchup 5/21/24report
I liked this. With brown sauce, made for a great hair do. Needed at least one more bottle though
2
Photo: Branston Pickle 5/21/24report
Loved the smell and look. More required next time though. No clean neck
1
Photo: Salad Cream 5/21/24report
The moment I realised that a pie had been laced with brown sauce. Loved my reaction on the video. I wasn't happy
1
Photo: Surprise smelly pie5/21/24report
I was after all that. Clean up was surprisingly quick and easy considering. Definitely will do it again, along with a few suggestions from customers. I loved stinking and the photos afterwards.
Photo: I'm one plastered stinky clown 🤡 5/20/24report
Smelly, vinegary, degrading, blind. How do I look?
Photo5/20/24report
Layer 1: Dough
Layer 2: Ketchup
Layer 3: Brown Sauce
Layer 4: Branston Pickle
Photo: I'm one plastered stinky clown 🤡 5/20/24report
Hear me talk for the first time in the video. My absolute disgust and surprise with being hit with a dough pie topped with stinky Brown Sauce
1
Photo: After a dough pie topped with brown sauce5/20/24report
Already plastered, I'm about to get another dough pie, topped with ketchup
1
Photo: I want it 🤡5/20/24report
More ketchup needed. Neck untouched
Photo: Ketchup on your bun Madam?5/19/24report
And very stinky!
Photo: Ketchup face decorated with Pickle hairdo5/19/24report
I loved it. Would need to include the neck next time
Photo: Patsy The Salad Cream statue5/19/24report
That was just before salad cream. Got smelliest!
Photo: Brown sauce heaven5/19/24report
The dough mixed worked well
Photo: 4. Medieval Maiden5/19/24report
Brown sauce was the worst. You'll see in the video it was a total rush of brown stench
1
Photo: Brown sauce heaven5/19/24report
It absolutely stank. Loved it!
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Photo: Brown sauce heaven5/19/24report
Dough, then ketchup, followed by brown sauce with a Branston Pickle hair covering
Photo: Ketchup face decorated with Pickle hairdo5/19/24report
How do I look?
1
Photo: Brown sauce heaven5/19/24report
Watch my stinky creation in the full video, available in store.
Photo: Patsy The Salad Cream statue5/18/24report
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